The Third Trimester

*Please note that this is an account of MY personal journey whilst pregnant with my first child. Please be discerning. Everyone has a completely unique experience.*

The Third Trimester spans from Week 27 to the end of the pregnancy. 

SLOWING DOWN 

If (for me personally) the first trimester was a deeply internal, quiet, introspective and healing time, the second trimester was about absolutely slaying in every area of my life ~ like actually on fire. Well then the third trimester was a different rhythm again… drawing the energy back in, nesting, going slowly, gently, feeling, simplifying, clearing and being. I felt like I was grounding in to the Earth and drifting into the cosmos, at the same time. 

There was a few weeks where I felt myself crossing over from trimester two to trimester three energy, like shifting down gears. I felt such a call to go slower and be more gentle with myself in trimester three. As my body became more full, so to did my heart ~ I was coming home to the simplest pleasures of life.

CLEARING + LETTING GO 

I think the ability to be with those simple pleasures was mirrored by how much I was letting go of. Anything that was not a full body yes had no place in my home, my mind or my body. More clearing of the cupboards. Intuition was still cut throat as ever and demanding to be heard… it was at this time I decided to let go of an aspect to my business - after a few years sharing the oil love with doTERRA I came to realise that it just wasn’t in alignment for me anymore. Again, more tough conversations but on the other side of that was more SPACE. It felt essential for me to tie up any of these “loose ends”, anything at all that I’d ignored or let slip by… one at a time, I cleared them out. 

WHO AM I ASIDE FROM WHAT I “DO”? 

Wrapping up work had me asking all the big questions for sure! I think something that really served me was the fact this was a process. Throughout the whole pregnancy I’d been at a different rhythm ~ prioritizing self care + my wellbeing over EVERYTHING ELSE. One by one I finished up work wise, with my last 1:1 mentoring client call at 38 weeks. By that stage I was ready. I knew I would miss my work but was actually surprised by how easily I settled in to the new life of ‘not working’ and how much I enjoyed this break. It felt right, I knew my work was evolving and this timing felt perfect, I could have the space to not have to show up online, which was a huge blessing. 

CRAVINGS 

Hot Cross Buns absolutely lathered in butter. 

Green juices/smoothies. 

Sausage rolls. 

VILLAGE TRIP 

I mentioned in my first trimester blog that becoming pregnant really made me yearn for my “village”. When I first became pregnant I had only moved to my community six months earlier. Becoming pregnant brought community to the forefront. It became more important to in particular seek out deeper connection with wise women, soul sisters, particularly ones that lived close by. I had an idea to go away on a nourishing trip with a group of them and I’m so glad I put it out there because each of them had been yearning for it too!!! I thought I’d share with you the invite I sent out, incase you want to organise something like this with some of your soul friends. It was so easy to bring together. 

Hey delicious women <3 

 I hope this finds you well....

 I've had an idea... 

 So for me personally as I go deeper in to this pregnancy the yearning for the 'village' has been huge... I have day dreamed and yearned more than ever for the way stories and wisdom were shared around the fire amongst sisters , etc. the way life was done so together in times past. I know many of you feel this same yearning too... 

 I am SO grateful for each of your presence in my life and pinch myself we all live so close. I would love the opportunity to spend more time with each of you & to have all of us together ! For more than what a coffee catch up allows you know. 

 This lush place has been on my radar for some time... 

 I always assumed it would be work related but what's really cool is now the idea of it being a bunch of soul friends going to hang out and go in to full femme queen mode, which excites me even more so ! 

 Allow me to paint the picture of what I'm feeling this could be...  

3 days and 2 nights mid week (the place is already booked on weekends)

Slow mornings grazing on breaky / having a cuppa listening to the birds 

Going for swims at the secret watering hole / nature walks 

Afternoon naps (defs me, I’ll be super Preggaz) 

Each of us preparing either a dinner or lunch for all to enjoy / communal cooking 

Lazy afternoons 

& of course full permission for solo time wherever desired ! 

 All in all, having no plans, just pressing pause on life for a few days... our hippy take on the traditional 'girls weekend' if you will ;)  

This trip for me was one of the highlights of my pregnancy. Spending a few days in nature with the most delicious women that nourish every inch of my soul was THE BEST! My Blessingway was scheduled to be held a week or so after but unfortunately I decided to cancel with the pandemic. So I was even more grateful for our village trip, in hindsight this was my Blessingway too. My gorgeous friends even painted my belly whilst we were away ! I felt completely cherished and celebrated. It brought us all so much closer together and it was a gift going in to my postpartum knowing that I had that deep support from those women there.

THE GLOBAL PANDEMIC 

So first of all, becoming a Mama, especially for the first time is one massive unknown to navigate. Secondly, the corona virus came to Australia and all of us were collectively navigating a massive unknown. So, any of us pregnant at the time were navigating a double whammy! I came across this article dedicated to Mamas expecting during the pandemic that brought me a lot of comfort. 

At this point I was more grateful than ever that I was planning a homebirth. Homebirth midwives were getting booked out across the country, with fears that hospital services would be severely stretched with corona patients. I was at times indeed caught up in the overwhelm of fear, anxiety and grief around this. 

One of my main fears that arose during this time was interestingly for my parents. They both had previous health conditions that made them more susceptible to this virus. I had all these fears arise, the scariest being - what if something happens to them and they don’t get to meet my baby? 

I realised that this fear pointed to what I cared about. I think my Heart was already doubling being in my third trimester but I think it tripled or quadrupled with the threat of the corona virus. I, like so many of us, realised just how much I loved and appreciated my loved ones! 

Just like any time of challenge, the blessings and gifts were aplenty. It was fortunate that isolation occurred when I would’ve been predominantly isolating anyway, leading up to the birth. Matt’s job was secure but he started working from home from 38 weeks and this was such a gift for us. We got to spend so much time together in the lead up to the birth which was so special given it was the last leg of just the two of us! 

I think I pulled out EVERY trick in my personal development toolbox to keep me in my magic zone in the lead up to birth. Stress is basically the antidote to the natural birth I had been planning for, so I knew I had to focus. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Switching off from news, media, socials was the best thing for me. Meditating, dancing, journalling, watching reality TV, keeping my (very slow and humble) yoga practice up, walks, eating nourishing meals, napping, self pleasure. 

This was the time for me to be selfish and give myself whatever I needed. Matt was the best at keeping our vibes high at home! We just made our little love bubble and were very protective of it. Pandemic or not, I highly recommend that, especially in those last weeks leading up to birth. Give yourself permission to do whatever you need to be in the right mindframe. This is not the time you need to show up for others. It’s the time to show up for you & your baby. Honour the space in between crossing the threshold - you are about to birth your baby and YOURSELF! 

BABY “STUFF” 

Okay so I’ve come to realise, admit and own over the past few years that I have a particular style… I knew that those who were close to me would nail it but I was already anxious about the onslaught of “baby gifts” that although so well intended I would probably not use then have to deal with the guilt of offloading it… eeeek. 

Also, all the “stuff”. They’ve made a whole industry off a Mother’s inbuilt desire to care for her child. It’s kind of like the wedding industry. And to me, most of it is rubbish. Poorly built, unnecessary...crap. And I was scared that crap was going to end up in my home. The environment is so important to me, as is the energy of the “things” we keep in our home. And since I’d spent so much of the pregnancy CLEARING, it seemed counter to then accumulate. 

Matt & I went for a visit to Baby Bunting early on and I lasted about 15 mins before I had a mild panic attack “it’s too much stuff, get me out of here”. See here’s the thing, not just baby wise but “things” wise, I’ve always been obsessed with “things with soul”. You know, pieces that have a story, pieces that have been made with thought and intention. The thing that overwhelmed me at Baby Bunting was the feeling that “doesn’t all of this stuff already exist in surplus in the World”. I mean, think of how many people have babies and often the stuff is only needed for a short amount of time. 

We got in the car after that Baby Bunting trip and just said “fuck it”, let’s not buy any of the stuff, let’s wing it and see how we go… plus, we’ll get gifted lots and we should be able to find some things second hand too! 

I expressed my anxiety with getting given the “crap I would never need/use” to one of my healers… she said to me “why don’t you just say, like on your Blessingway invite, what people should get, if they do want to get a gift?” HA! What a revelation - to just say!!! 

So here’s what I included at the bottom of my Blessingway invite, again, feel free to use if you fall in to the same camp as me in this area (and if you don’t, no bloody judgement ay, you do you!) 

A note on gifts:

Your love & support at this time is truly most valued & cherished. If you would like to gift something ~ we all know what I'm like lol ~ I would ask that it is along the lines of handmade / organic, ethically, sustainably produced / secondhand. Feel free to ask Sarah if you need any help here ;) 

As you know, my Blessingway didn’t go ahead but I was still so generously gifted things that fit in to these categories by my community! This was such a joy for me! To receive things that had been so thoughtfully picked in line with my values! Win-win! 

We were also incredibly blessed to be given the following items secondhand from friends - HEAPS of baby clothes zero to one year (from my #mumgoals friend who is also my #stylegoals - jackpot), a cot, bassinet, car seat, rocker, kids books, etc. 

Things found their way to us throughout the pregnancy and it gave me peace of mind knowing that not only did we have beautiful or pre loved pieces but we also hadn't contributed to excess waste.

I think the reason I wanted to share this is to give you permission to WING IT YOUR WAY. Trust yourself at all times! I just had this ‘feeling’ early on that I didn’t want to buy shit. My game plan was investing my money towards my home birth, so not buying all the stuff meant less pressure on that, which was my priority. 

There are no rules, if you want to go out and buy all the stuff go for it! You do you! But I just want to share my story because there’s a bit of collective pressure to have “all the stuff”. Every second person asks you if you’ve set the nursery up yet (me every time - “no”). There’s all these unwritten rules… just remember you don’t have to follow any of them - you can rock it your way!!! 

MY PREGGAZ SUPPORT SQUAD 

You may have heard it takes a village to raise a child… It also takes a village to bring a child into the World. I received continuity of care, once a month throughout my pregnancy with a chiro, my midwife & my doula. Also energy work with a couple of healers & some facials and massages dotted throughout. I can’t not also mention my village of women for all the d’n’m’s & debriefs - you know who you are - thankyou for holding space for me during this big life transition. 

And of course my BIGGEST support - Matt. Who saw me in the most beautiful and most messy moments of pregnancy and only leaned in and loved me more and more! 

RECEIVING 

I found out very quickly that friends/family/random acquaintances just LOVE to LOVE up on a pregnant woman! From thoughtful gifts, to kind words, to countless offers of help with “anything at all”. We felt so incredibly supported and loved up! 

Receiving is not something I had been “historically good at” but it’s been an intention of mine over the past few years to increase my ability to receive (I shared more about it in this podcast episode). 

32 weeks - Valentines Day Date

I was really conscious about choosing to accept others help and receive more than I ever have. It was a really beautiful process as I recognised it was not just about me now. I moved my “stuff” to the side because I recognised that the more I could receive and feel nourished, the better for the baby, too! 

I made a conscious effort to accept any and all offers of help! Even those things that I was like “oh I could probably manage that”, I stretched myself to say “thanks, that would be amazing” . Because the thing is, people want to help! We deny them that when our pride is too strong to accept it... It wasn’t always perfect, I’ll give you an example - at around 16 weeks I became unwell (think it was reheated lasagna too many days past). Anyway, I spent about a week on the couch, I was terribly unwell, it hit me for six. My Mum - bless her - came over and dropped off my fave comfort food - her lamb shank vegie soup, meals for Matt, groceries and whilst she was there unpacked it all, did all the dishes & changed my bed sheets. I was so grateful. The next day I was on the phone to my friend Laura and she asked if she could make me a soup & drop it off. I politely declined but after I got off the phone I sat for a moment and asked myself if I could stretch to say yes? I realised that I’d hit what I call a “receiving capacity” ie. with Mum visiting the day before I was like “that’s enough” - you know what I mean? But when I truly asked myself I thought fuck, I’d so LOVE to accept this offer, even though I was a bit uncomfortable to do so. So I called my friend back! And I even said to her, sometimes receiving is a little challenging for me but I would love to accept your offer! 

The next day she rolled up with a HUGE BATCH of vegie soup, plus a basket of goodies! And seeing her brightened my day too! So the message here is - expand your capacity to receive and say yes to the help that is offered! You may not be always able to say yes first time like me but you’ll grow in to it! Towards the end of pregnancy I was lapping it up because I’d been expanding my capacity throughout the whole nine months. It really cut through the crap and I’m so grateful - because receiving is not only nourishing for you but people love to give - LET THEM ;)

BOUNDARIES 

Boundaries have been a huge part of my personal practice for years, hell I even teach an online course ‘Boundaries are Beautiful’ on it but being pregnant really asks a new level of embodiment here!! As I said, it felt like there was no other option than to be so closely linked with my intuition at every twist & turn ~ and boundaries are the actions that support that whole living by your intuition thang! 

As the due date approached I continued drawing more of my energy in to myself, the baby and home... which meant more boundaries. There were a few things I felt called to do like ~ taking a break from posting anything on social media. I let my community know I wouldn’t be replying to emails/DMS/etc from around the 37 week mark, indefinitely. I socialised much, much less. There were a few times I needed to cancel last minute catch ups, because I just wasn’t feeling it on the day ~ I really had to see how I felt on the day, I was even less able to plan anything in advance than I had been in previous trimesters ! Surrendering to my body was most important. 

As I got closer to full term my phone started buzzing a little more. Gosh the love was flying in from all angles!!! But also, I had a chat with my doula and she suggested sending out a message when the time was right to ask that people don’t message to ask “if you’ve had the baby yet” or even “how you’re feeling”. She advised this will just give me a bit more space. Cause the thing is, our culture is obsessed with the “due date” but in reality we have a “due month” with the baby naturally arriving anywhere within that space! It’s also more common for first time Mama’s to “go over” that due date. 

So what did this look like? This is the text I sent out: 

To my Luscious Women 🌹

Your girl is OFFICIALLY 39 WEEKS preggaz today ~ now considered ‘full term’! & celebrating in my fave style with a dawn bath and the sound of the rain. 

Feeling really well, strong in myself & ...ready. On average, baby can still naturally arrive any where in this month! 

I’m getting in touch to let you know that I’m “cocooning” ~ going deeper within as we get closer to welcoming the munchkin Earthside... my doula suggested and it felt a wonderful idea to me to create some more space ~ from now I’d ask that you don’t message to check if I’ve had the baby yet or even how I’m travelling/feeling ~ as I’m going in to my little bubble further & getting in my zone ⚡️⚡️ Know that I am in the BEST hands possible with Matt and my birth squad. 

I will reach out if there is anything at all that I need. In the meantime, if you do happen to need to get in touch, please do so via Matt or Sez. 

Thankyou for all of your thoughts & good vibes at this time ~ I’m feeling it ALL and basking in your love ✨💓🙏🏻 So can’t wait to let you know when the foal decides to arrive ! X

THE SURRENDER 

40 weeks - bringing the camping vibe to the backyard during isolation

That amazing god-send of an article also mentioned that those final weeks before birth can be compared to the autumn-winter crossover of the menstrual cycle. This was a lightbulb moment for me!!!! In years past I had done that same crossover consciously, countless times… I knew the 4-1-1 of it. It brought me much comfort and a sense of feeling understood! I could harness the wisdom from my cycle experience and apply to this amplified experience during pregnancy! 

It really made sense, as in those final weeks I was feeling the characteristic Autumn-Winter crossover signs. At some moments very in the chaos of feeling highly sensitive, emotional and erratic. Just like those pre-menstrual feels! Other times feeling wild but liberated and empowered by that connection with my inner most truth. I also found myself each day waking up and seeing what task I could get done to feel more space to surrender to baby. Ie. these could be simple things like gathering supplies that I needed for the homebirth, or it might be working on an emotional layer - spending time meditating, journalling or calling a trusted friend or my doula for some support to clear something out of my field. One, at, a, time. 

What I knew and deeply felt from experiencing the autumn-winter transition with my cycle, was that my bleed always came once I had a) done all the ‘tasks’ and b) surrendered emotionally and energetically. So this became my practice in those last few weeks, LOOKING AT, not shying away from, anything else that was “coming up” for me. I knew this was “the way” that I would go in to labour, once I had sorted and had that CRYSTAL CLEAR CHANNEL & of course once baby was ready to come. I liken it to taking care of my 50% / my side of the street…as it’s a collaboration with the child of course.

This had been a journey the whole pregnancy, clearing out the BS but I could feel it coming to a climax as I prepared to surrender to the mystery ahead…